Downloadable or recorded computer software and mobile software applications used to enable any electronic, processor-and-sensor-based mobile/portable items--including but not limited to cell phones, tablet computers, smart luggage, electronic tools, electronic instruments, watches, smart weapons, GPS sensors, remote controls, and in general smart portable items which are internally equipped with a processor and suitable sensors-- for internal signal processing and the self-detection by the portable item of possible loss, theft, misplacement, incorrect location, improper use, improper operation, improper environment, and improper storage of the mobile/portable item and/or possession of the portable item by an unauthorized user; and downloadable or recorded computer software and mobile software applications for use in conjunction with a processor- and sensor-equipped generalized portable item monitoring device(s), where the monitoring device(s) is/are suitable for physical attachment to or embedding within most generic mobile/portable items (both electronic and non-electronic), and where the monitoring devices are adaptable via the software to locally monitor any one associated, generic mobile/portable items for possible loss, theft, misplacement, incorrect location, improper use, improper operation, improper environment, and improper storage of the mobile/portable item and/or possession of the portable item by an unauthorized user